Don't squat with your spurs on

That is something my dad would say.  My version is Don't put your contacts in right after you brush your teeth.  Minty eyes don't feel so swell.  Just saying. 

A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law and I went on my first "hike" (walk) since my surgery. She picked a really cool place.  Nisqually Wildlife Refuge.  It has a beautiful board walk out onto the water.  The tide was out so mudflats for the win.  It was very cold but no rain.  It was beautiful and felt amazing to be outside.  My foot didn't hurt.  I didn't mind that it was a walk not a hike.  We saw a pair of bald eagles.  Them and hummingbirds are my favorites!  We walked 5.6 miles.  We kept a nice pace but were able to talk. Before surgery I walked 3.5 miles in an hour.  The 5.6 was 2.5 hours.  But we stopped and admired the view, took pictures and looked for eagles.  I would go back there. I think I'd like to try with the tide in for a different view. 

We then went and had a yummy lunch/dinner. It was a Southern BBQ place.  Wendy is still working on finding her way with her new place without my sister.  We did a bit of work emptying boxes and going through things.  It makes me wonder what my people will think while sorting through my things after I'm gone.  We have laughed and shaken our heads, A LOT! I love her and miss her so very much, but I'm calling a spade a spade.  My sister had VERY weird, eclectic taste, in clothes and nick naks and decorations. We laughed and cried.  I hope Chrissy knows how much she is loved and missed. 

On to my happy place, Outside!

I love reflections like this. 

Fungi are so interesting and grow in the most amazing places. 

Do you see it?  The eye and eyebrow?  After Wendy pointed this out, I kept seeing them everywhere.  And faces. It was so fun finding them. 

So beautiful.  I love where I live. Next time I hope this is full of water. 

It was busy but it didn't feel that way.  It was getting a lot busier as we were leaving. 

Mr. and Mrs. Eagle.  I have other pictures, but they were in the trees then.  Someday I will have my paparazzi lenses so I get close ups.  

I loved these 2 barns. 

It really was a great place to start my walking/hiking season off. 

I urge you to get outside as soon as you can.  For me it's a must.  

Peace

Popcorn

 

I have had so many thoughts running through my brain.   I have things I want to write about but I'm having trouble making them all into cohesive sentences and paragraphs. So, popcorn brain for the win. 

In the past week or so I have heard several times in several different ways that God will turn my mourning into dancing. That He will cover me with Joy. That this is just a season.  I know grief never ends but it will change.  Right now, I don't really want the pain to go away, that feels like I am saying I'm done missing my dad and my sister.  I know that isn't the case, but it feels like it.   I know that God see's all my failures and all my flaws and weaknesses. and yet He still loves me and wants to be with me.  I know that to be true, so I know that He can and will carry me through this time too.  

I find when I think the darkness is just never going to end, God sends me a sign that He knows me. He knows my heart.  He knows that I need the details.  I've survived the longest night of the year.  I love that. I will trust that. 

It's still Winter. However, Spring is coming! 

Peace

Sometimes the smell of pine isn't good.

 

In March (I think) I have done what I do for 32 years. I know I started with an itty bitty Skater on my chest.   I love being in customer service.  I really like my clients.  I am really concerned about 3 of them.  They are in poor health, and I know I really help them.  I've had most of my clients for years.  I really do like it.  

Today was a first for me.  Picture if you will, a large, jetted tub.  It's set in the middle of a largeish area.  I have to stand in the tub to clean the windowsill and the back side of the tub area.  As I moved to step out of the tub, it's a wide swing for me.  I was doing it blind, so without looking.  I stepped into the bucket!  At first, I thought I had knocked the bucket over.  It would have been a HUGE mess. Nope, I just stepped right into the bucket!  As it was the pine sol water sloshed over.  I had to run and grab a towel to start mopping it all up.  I was laughing so hard.  Of course, it was me and a Monday. I took my shoes and socks off.  The right one was DRIPPING wet.  Mrs. Client was on a business call.  She muted her mic, and I told her what happened.  She said I could go home.  No, that's not how this works.  It was just a wet foot.  So, I continued on with my day, barefoot.  I have never worked barefoot before. Well at home I have.  Mrs. and I laughed off and on all day.  She said she could totally be the one to do that.  I was going to explain the Myers gene to her, but I knew it wouldn't make sense.  But I laughed in my head.  Seriously all the stars had to aline for that to happen. A giant bathroom, 1 bucket and a size 8 1/2 shoe.   It made my Monday different.  Different is good sometimes.  Everyone that knows me will laugh. It did make me miss my Aunt just a bit more today because she would have laughed hysterically. I know it felt really good to laugh.   

So now my shoe is in front of the heater, hopefully it will be dry by morning. I did put them on to drive home.  I didn't want to take the garbage out and get to my car in bare feet. As I left I made the squish squish squish noise with my mouth as I walked by Mrs. Client.  It gave her the giggles all over again.  So on to a new week.  I hope it's not setting a precedent for the week.  Other then, if that's the worst that happens this week, it will be a good week.  

Peace                 

One small step

 I'm pretty sure I am not ok.  But I will be. I am trying to feel what I feel as it's happening.  It's not in my best interest to try and stuff them. The oddest things, the weirdest things get me thinking.  Of things I can't change, hurts I can't stop from coming.  I'm not sure I have ever felt so alone in my life. There are days I wish I could just turn my brain off for a little while, for a break. 

At my follow up from my surgery I have been released to go live my life.  I get to go walking with a purpose and I can hike when I want.  Now to find my motivation to start.  I will.  The weather will need to get in line with that for me.  I hate walking in the rain.  I can't wait to go hiking.  Not happening in the snow though. 

I heard a song the other day that really just spoke to me.  (I know I have posted several songs lately) What is it about music that somedays reaches where nothing else is?  

God is in this story.  Big Daddy Weave, Katy Nichole

There's torn up pages in this book

Words that tell me I'm no good

Chapters that defined me for so long

But the hands of grace and endless love

Dusted off and picked me up

Told my heart that hope is never gone

God is in this story

God is in the details

Even in the broken parts

He holds my heart, He never fails

When I'm at my weakest

I will trust in Jesus

Always in the highs and lows

The One who goes before me

God is in this story

So if the storm you're walking through

Feels like it's too much and you

Wonder if He even cares at all

Well, hold on tight to what you know

He promised He won't let you go

Your song of healing's written in His scars

God is in this story

God is in the details

Even in the broken parts

He holds my heart, He never fails

When I'm at my weakest

I will trust in Jesus

Always in the highs and lows

The One who goes before me

God is in this story

If it reads like addiction

If it reads like disease

He's the One who frees the prisoner

He's the healer of all things

If it reads like depression

If it reads broken home

He's the One who holds your sorrow

He won't leave you here alone

God is in this story

God is in the details

Even in the broken parts

He holds my heart, He never fails

When I'm at my weakest

I will trust in Jesus

Always in the highs and lows

The One who goes before me

Always in the highs and lows

The One who goes before me

God is in this story (you're in this story)

God is in my story (right here in my story)

God does care about the details, my details.  He gives me grace.  I need his grace.  I am enough.  I will trust in Him.  He is still writing this story.  I don't understand it.  I am not asked to understand I guess, just to trust and follow.  Some days are easier than others. 

Peace

Noel

 

NOEL

Chris Tomlin

   Love incarnate, love divine

  Star and angels gave the sign

Bow to babe on bended knee

The Savior of humanity

Unto us a Child is born

He shall reign forevermore

Noel, Noel

Come and see what God has done

Noel, Noel

The story of amazing love!

The light of the world, given for us

Noel

Son of God and Son of man

There before the world began

Born to suffer, born to save

Born to raise us from the grave

Christ the everlasting Lord

He shall reign forevermore

Noel, Noel

Come and see what God has done

Noel, Noel

The story of amazing love!

The light of the world, given for us

Noel

Noel, Noel

Come and see what God has done

Noel, Noel

The story of amazing love!

The light of the world, given for us

Noel

Noel

My mom and I went to a Christmas Eve candle lite service with Drummer and his wife and their 2. my grands. It was a sweet time of worship.  They sang a song I hadn't heard before, or at least didn't recognize. It touched me and made me think about this season in general.  It's a very hard year for me.  I didn't want to decorate.  Nothing, it would have just been easier to do nothing, pretend it wasn't the Holiday season.  But when asked, I agreed that I wouldn't feel any better not doing anything.  So, we did some decorating.  We have a lovely tree.  It's not fully loaded but sweet, nonetheless.  There are presents for everyone and they are even wrapped before Christmas eve. There are some good spots.  My clients are very kind to me. We had some snow.  Which I love this time of year.  My mom made it with only an hour delay, In spite of cruddy weather all around the state. We have each other, we have plenty of food.  I even did some baking besides the pies.  We will make tomorrow a good day.  We really do have so much. 

Jesus was a prophecy come true.  A baby born of a virgin.  To become the King of Kings, a way maker so we can have an eternal life with our Savior. 

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.  

Peace

The wonder

 

The sermon Sunday was The Wonder.  It really has me thinking.  

As Christians we tend to go from the Christmas story right to Easter.  The people at the time thought Jesus was going to be their King.  They thought he was going to sit on the throne and rule the nations.  That was what they thought.  They had no thought of the cross.  The work that would be done there.  We only know because we've been taught that. 

One of the things that keeps running through my mind is the song by Mark Lowry. 

Mary did you know

Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
That your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
That your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
That your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

Mary knew she was a virgin mother.  But she didn't know about the cross. She knew what the Angel had told her.  She knew she had a baby that was the son of God.   Can you imagine knowing you have this baby that is going to be king of all? The worry all new mama's have.  The need to do things perfect.  To keep them safe, warm, fed, happy.  I remember those feelings, with each and every baby. The need is great in a mama's heart.  I'm glad Mary didn't know about the cross. That she couldn't see what was coming.  That she could just marvel at all the new baby things. 

I want to remind myself to stay in the present time, just today.  Easter is coming, but I want to revel in the joy of a Savior who's come to save. I want to cherish this moment, this season. The wonder of it all. 

Peace.

The follow up

                                             

Well, the cast is off, and the pin is out.  I wore 2 shoes out of the pin removal appointment. The nurse said I wouldn't be.  She gave me a post-surgery shoe.  When the doc came in, I asked if I could wear my shoe after.  She said sure, it's up to you. Challenge accepted.  It hurt like a dirty mother getting it on, but on it went.  I had to really loosen the laces to get my foot in my shoe.  The pin hurt coming out.  Doogie Houser said it wouldn't. I did ask her if she had ever had one done.  She smiled and said no.  Oh yes it did.  As soon as it was out, and she was done the pain stopped though.  It wasn't HORRIBLE but not fun either.  I don't have to have physical therapy.  My physical therapy is just walking.  Well, I walk all the time.  So, walking I am. I'm not allowed to hike yet.  Well figure that answer in January.  I did do something I don't want to repeat anytime soon though.  I was reaching for something and reflexively stood up on my tippy toes.  IMMEDIATELY gasped and sucked all the air out of the room.  Tears rushed out of my eyes.  OH man that hurt.  I thought, well at least the first one of those is out of the way.  I'm sure it will happen again.  

What is odd is that my ankle hurts/aches way more than my foot does.  It must have been the 7 weeks at a 90-degree angle.  Nobody told me about that.  

So outside of not hiking and not jogging, yet. life seems to have returned to this new normal that we have.  

So ends the saga of my foot.  Hiking here I come.  Well, as soon as the weather is better.  I'm a fair-weather kind of hiker. 

Peace