I'm pretty sure I am not ok. But I will be. I am trying to feel what I feel as it's happening. It's not in my best interest to try and stuff them. The oddest things, the weirdest things get me thinking. Of things I can't change, hurts I can't stop from coming. I'm not sure I have ever felt so alone in my life. There are days I wish I could just turn my brain off for a little while, for a break.
At my follow up from my surgery I have been released to go live my life. I get to go walking with a purpose and I can hike when I want. Now to find my motivation to start. I will. The weather will need to get in line with that for me. I hate walking in the rain. I can't wait to go hiking. Not happening in the snow though.
I heard a song the other day that really just spoke to me. (I know I have posted several songs lately) What is it about music that somedays reaches where nothing else is?
God is in this story. Big Daddy Weave, Katy Nichole
There's torn up pages in this book
Words that tell me I'm no good
Chapters that defined me for so long
But the hands of grace and endless love
Dusted off and picked me up
Told my heart that hope is never gone
God is in this story
God is in the details
Even in the broken parts
He holds my heart, He never fails
When I'm at my weakest
I will trust in Jesus
Always in the highs and lows
The One who goes before me
God is in this story
So if the storm you're walking through
Feels like it's too much and you
Wonder if He even cares at all
Well, hold on tight to what you know
He promised He won't let you go
Your song of healing's written in His scars
God is in this story
God is in the details
Even in the broken parts
He holds my heart, He never fails
When I'm at my weakest
I will trust in Jesus
Always in the highs and lows
The One who goes before me
God is in this story
If it reads like addiction
If it reads like disease
He's the One who frees the prisoner
He's the healer of all things
If it reads like depression
If it reads broken home
He's the One who holds your sorrow
He won't leave you here alone
God is in this story
God is in the details
Even in the broken parts
He holds my heart, He never fails
When I'm at my weakest
I will trust in Jesus
Always in the highs and lows
The One who goes before me
Always in the highs and lows
The One who goes before me
God is in this story (you're in this story)
God is in my story (right here in my story)
God does care about the details, my details. He gives me grace. I need his grace. I am enough. I will trust in Him. He is still writing this story. I don't understand it. I am not asked to understand I guess, just to trust and follow. Some days are easier than others.
Peace
