Salty Sea Air

The weekend after my sister died and before my surgery, I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I really needed to find a moment to calm my thoughts and sooth my heart.  I was going to the ocean.  I halfheartedly asked Blister if she wanted to go with me. She shocked me to the core when she said she would go with me.  I normally go to Ocean Shores.  It's close and a nice drive.  Blister asked if I had ever been to Long Beach.  I had not.  They also have a place in the area.  So, I said I was game to try somewhere else.  Salt/Ocean/Sand, I'm all in.  

My cousin asked if I wanted to take their Mustang convertible.   Uuuhh YES!  They have rules though.  If it's above 60 degrees the top has to be down. Only 2 people in the car.  The back seat is for a picnic basket and a jacket.  Blister and I were game.  I picked her up very early in the morning and we were off.  We went to the place where their trailer is parked.  It's a really nice area.  I can see why they like going there.  It's about a mile walk to the beach.  We went to an old church in Oysterville.  Super cool.  The church is divided down the middle.  We guessed it was a girls/guy thing. 

We made our way down to Long Beach.  It's supposably the longest beach in the contiguous beach in the US.  It's about 28 miles. There is a flag museum and cute little shops.  We went to the beach first.  We walked, I cried.  Blister held my hand and we just were together.  We wrote my sister's name in the sand.   As we walked the fog just kept rolling and rolling in.  At one point we couldn't even see the drive that we drove to the beach on.  We headed back.  We finally saw the flags and that was our drive.  We wondered through town.  We went into some shops.  I picked things up thinking I wanted them and then I would put them down.  I couldn't make a decision and it felt odd.  So pictures and memories are what I brought home.  

This is us. 

Since the fog was rolling in, we decided to move on south. We went looking for lighthouses. That was hilarious!  The fog was so thick we had to almost be standing next to it to see it.  There was supposed to be amazing views.  Yup, nothing but fog.  But we still had salty air!  As we were headed to Ilwaco marina for dinner, we rounded a curve and it was sunny and beautiful.  So weird!  We had a lovely dinner in a little bar there.  It was good.  Then we were meandering our way home.  It was going to be a late one no matter what.  So there was no hurry.   I can't remember where but we stopped and had ice cream for dessert.  It was yummy. 

Stunning view isn't it!

Believe it or not, there is a light house right there. 

See! It was sunny and beautiful.

We put the top up.  It was no longer close to 60 degrees and we were cold. It was a beautiful day.  I was glad for the company.  It did help.  I slept that night.  Nothing had changed when I woke up.  However, I did have a better handle on my emotions.  At least for a while.  I will go to salty sea air any time I can! 

Peace

 

Be careful what you wish for!

 Remember as a kid you wanted braces or a broken bone so you could have a cast?  Anyone?  No?  Just me? I never had braces. I was hurt a few times, gymnastics and sports and things.  I never had a cast though, until now.  At some point I had broken a bone in my foot.  I am sure it hurt, but as a wife and a mom I didn't have time to stop or pay attention.  I had a surgery scheduled.  Then my sister died.  I struggled with postponing it.  Since she was cremated and the funeral wasn't in the next few days, I decided to go ahead and have it.  There wasn't ever going to be a good time to do it.  I had it done.  It went well.  I have a pin in the toe that had the broken bone and was twisting. It looks rather gnarly on the x-ray.  I'm ready for all of it to be over though.  

My first cast!  This was after the splint and bandages from surgery came off. 

I asked her to draw a face on the ball like a Jack in the Box antenna ball.  She said NO. 

The toe with the pin is lower because the bone had to be in alignment.  It will be in the proper place when the pin is pulled out.  AND that is just how they do it.  Grab and pull.  YIKES. 

This is a cast cover for the shower.  Isn't it just super cool?  Please detect the small note of sarcasm there. 

And here it is making sure no water gets into the cast.  It's slippery though so kind of a two-edged sword. 

This is how it looks now.  

The first week was a bit rough.  I do not do well with drugs.  I either am puking or sleeping.  I did a lot of sleeping.  The second week I worried, a LOT.  We were working on my sister's memorial.  Money is a constant worry.  The holidays are coming.  I kept thinking I should just be working and not have done this.  I had trouble getting out of my own head.   Once my sister's memorial was settled, I felt a bit better. I had a better handle on my emotions and thoughts.   I have 2 different helpers for work.  I really did need to go back.  

I am allowed to put my heel down and bear weight on it.  It makes me walk very odd because I can't roll my foot or use my ankle. Think of a pirate and a peg leg.  My hips and lower back are not loving me right now. Most of the time I use crutches or a knee scooter.  It should be coming off soon.  I hope.  I cannot wait to get back out hiking to sooth my soul and calm my mind.  And hopefully no pain at the end of the hike.  

On we go.  One gimpy limp at a time. 

Peace

Then there was 4

 

This picture represents what was in 2017.  There was already 2 of us missing.  In the past 13 months 2 more have died.  It just is so surreal.  It doesn't feel real.  Not even a bad dream you can't wake up, just not real.  My heart hurts beyond explanation.  It hurts for my mom, my sister's partner.  Us siblings.  Her children and grandchildren.  So many nieces and nephews and countless friends.  Somehow, we will figure out how to navigate this all with so much hurt and pain. 

Williams, Christyn June

Christyn June Williams was born in Omak, WA. January 17, 1972. She died unexpectedly on October 3, 2022 at her home in Des Moines, WA. Chrissy graduated from Rogers High School. She was also a member of the Colville Confederated Tribe of Indians.

Chrissy is proceeded in death by her Daddy, Robert Williams, sister Coreen Williams and brother Scott Williams. She is survived by her loving partner of 20 years, Wendy Dodge, her daughters Nicolette Draine of Spokane WA, Jadeyn Draine of Spokane Valley WA, and son Skyelor Draine of Des Moines WA. Her Mother Lea Williams of Medical Lake WA, brothers Steve ( Debbie) Williams of Spokane Valley WA, and Tom Williams of Medical Lake WA, sister Nicolette (Carmen) Edgerton of Everett WA. 4 precious granddaughters Aubrey, Kenya, Karlita and Charlotte. Many cousins, nieces, nephews and friends. Those grand girls were the joy and love of her life.

A memorial service for Chrissy will be November 5, 2022 beginning at 1:00pm at Turning Point Church 11911 N Division St. Spokane WA 99218 in the Gathering Place. Drinks and cookies to follow.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Chrissy's name to the Seattle Children's Hospital at www.seattlechildrens.org

FOREVER MISSED, NEVER FORGOTTEN

When I was a little girl, I remember wanting to be a big sister so badly! If I had a baby sister, it would be even better! When I was 6, I finally got my dream. However, that little sister didn’t get to stay. We as a family were heartbroken as you can imagine but my dream didn’t change. I WANTED a sister and to BE a big sister. In 1972 my biggest dream and prayer came true. I got to be a big sister to a sister AND she got to stay! She was amazing! I had my own living doll to play with! To play dress up with, change her clothes and drag her around with me. We even tried to share a room at one point, that was a big NO. That adventure didn’t last long.  

Chrissy loved unabashedly and with every fiber of her being. There was no guess work with how she was feeling. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, all of them, anger, tears and laughter. Oh, and she did have an amazing laugh. She was fearless as a teenager. Chrissy had a lovely voice, one time she sang the National Anthem to start a horse show. As she got older, she loved Karaoke. She even got me to try it.   She had such an amazing sense of style. She would put things together that you would go hmmmm while looking at the pile of eclectic stuff. When she had put her vision together, it was amazing.  One time Chrissy did my make-up and eyelashes for a performance I was in. That didn't last long either.  She was such a girly girl.  

Chrissy and I shared a love of movies.  For her they had to have happy endings.   I'm not sure she ever forgave me Green Card, or ever got over it.  It still makes me laugh.

When I started having children, she began watching her nephews. She was an AMAZING Auntie and I trusted my boys with her. Then I got to watch Chrissy became a mom and her children were the light of her life. She was so very proud of them. As the years went by, I also got to watch her become a grandmother. THOSE girls were everything to her. She enjoyed EVERY moment of being a grandma.  

I have 50 years of memories that I will cherish ever day! Chrissy will be missed so very much by so very many. I love you Sister and I love being your sister.

Your Big Sister,

Nikki