You must walk through it

 

Grief

Sometimes it just smacks you upside the head.  

I do not know how people who don't have a faith in God get through this. He is so much bigger than any pain I have.  You can't take a step around one small moment of it.  So just lean in on it and feel all the feelings when they come over you.  There have been days I haven't cried though.  I remember the first time I noticed I hadn't cried. I was amazed.  I didn't really think that would happen. I still miss the members of my family that are missing.  I don't know what the lesson here is, but I don't like it.  I don't have to like it, just get through it. I know God is going to make things clear eventually. I also want to feel the grief.  I miss my dad. I miss my sister. I miss my aunt.  Grief is because I love them.  

Aren't fingerprints amazing.  Each and every one of us on this planet earth have a different one.  They say that everyone has a doppelganger. When I was in high school, I was told that there was a girl who looked like me that went to school up North from where I lived.  It was a small town.  I don't remember ever seeing her but was told after away games and such that they had seen her.  BUT no matter how close we looked to each other.  My fingerprints are mine.  Hers are hers. It is rumored that we all have one.  Isn't that weird? Any way...  

I keep seeing things that remind me of my sister.  Facebook memories, crows, art or knickknacks that I know she would have loved.  I miss her. 

Since I started this post a while ago my husband's mom passed away. She was 106 years, 235 days old.  She had a very long life.  My heart hurts for him.  It has been a lot in the last 2 years.  My kids are hurting, one of them is so worried about his dad.  He said through tears, Mom, dad sounds so tired!  I know he was.  It was a really long week and a half.   He is trying so hard to get all the things done.  He isn't an only child but I'm sure it feels like it.  He isn't making decisions alone, but I know it feels like it. All I know how to help is to just love him and do what I can to make things easier.  Things happen, it's just life.  All we can do is try to keep up.  

I guess we just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Peace