Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Everyone can learn

 Bugs has loved all things critters since forever.  When he was little if you were reading to him and he picked the book, it was always about bugs, critters, all things gross.  In my opinion. I don't mind all those things, as long as they are outside.  Where they belong.  By the time he was 5 he knew more about bugs then I know now.  He was and is so very smart.  

Bugs had the same teacher for kindergarten and 1st grade.  He loved her and she loved him.  He was very ambidextrous. He used which ever hand was closest when you handed him something. In the first grade we told him we didn't care which, but he had to pick a hand.  He was equally bad at writing with either hand. I'm not sure that has ever improved. They don't even teach cursive anymore.  Thats a whole other rant.  In first grade there were 2 little girls who LOVED Bugs.  They kept kissing him on the bus.  I finally had to go to his teacher and ask her to make it stop.  I know, as the mother of boys, that if the roles were reversed, he would have been in trouble.  As it was, the girls were not allowed to sit with him on the bus.  I think he still holds this against me.  He had things he struggled with but mostly hit the goals. Except with reading.  Mrs. White said he'd catch up.  I believed her. 

When Drummer was in 2nd grade, he had a teacher who did not care for eclectic learners.  Drummer could not sit flat on his bum.  He always had one foot under his butt in the desk chair.  She would send notes home that Drummer wouldn't sit in his chair.  More than one time I asked her, is he disruptive?  Is he bothering anyone?  No and No.  So what's the problem again?  Well, he won't sit all the way down.  I guess I'll talk to him.  This went on all year.  He's also a lefty so he turned his paper, she didn't like that either.  Heir had had her first.  He was a shy, follow the rules kind of kid.  So Drummer was a huge difference.  Sooo back to Bugs. He was assigned the same teacher for his 2nd grade.  The first thing out of her mouth on meet the teacher day, was, OH I had your brother.  OH boy.  I thought, why not hello, nice to meet you. I had your brother, I'm excited to have you too.  NOTHING of the sort.   In hindsight I should have pulled him out of her class right then. I didn't.  I have felt bad ever since and will listen to myself next time.  And have. She had NOT ONE WORD of anything nice or positive to say about Bugs all year long.  Every parent teacher conference was nothing but negative. Every report card, NOTHING nice.  That whole year was a complete waste of time.  I really am not sure he learned anything that year. 

Third grade was just a year, Bugs couldn't read much.  But was told over and over that he'd catch up.  Math was a struggle and reading was a joke.  He didn't seem to hate school the way he had the year before, so we all thought that we were over the worst of it.  When he got to 4th grade, we were called in right away.  She seemed to think we weren't aware that our kid couldn't read.  We said yes, we know!  He just keeps getting shoved on through, being told that he'll catch up. He hadn't.  She looked us and Bugs in the eyes and said by the end of this year this boy is going to learn to read.  I believed her.  She offered hope.  By the end of 4th grade he was reading.  He picked his own books out that interested him.  He read Where the red fern grows.  He was devastated by the way.  He dropped the book on the floor sobbing into my arms that the dog died.  Spoiler alert!  I tried to get him to understand that he read the whole book!  He got to read the story and draw his own pictures in his mind. My timing was really off. By the time he was finishing the 5th grade he was reading at grade level and an avid reader was made!  He read My side of the mountain. All three of those and so many adventure books. He realized he could go anywhere in a book.  By middle school he was reading at a high school level.   He even got in trouble for not doing homework, so he got grounded from books.  He got his homework finished.  He still is an avid reader.  I think he has every book he's ever been given.  

School was never easy for Bugs.  He learned to read but math is his nemesis.  We moved just before his freshman year.  New city, no friends.  It was a very hard time for him.  He really shut down and every year he fell farther behind.  We were always looking for ways to help him.  Tutors and all the things.  It just wasn't working.  In the middle of his junior year he came home and dropped a paper on my desk and said My counselor thinks this might be good for me.  I looked at him and the paper and read it and thought, yes, this won't happen.  Fast forward to March and he said Mom that open house is coming up and I want to go.  OK!  So we went over to Bremerton to the WYA.  Washington Youth Acadamy. Now called WYCA Washington Youth Challenge Acadamy.  It's an opportunity to make up, up to 8 credits to get you to graduation.  It's a 6-month residential military school.   The very first requirement is that the kid must want to go there.  They have to interview and be accepted.  He did all the work.  He left in July and was there until just before Christmas.  He did so very good there.  He thrived with the strict schedules and expectations. They learn to work as a team.  That all your decisions effect everyone around you.  Bugs got the credits he needed to graduate.  He went back to school in January and graduated in August.  That one last dreaded math credit! But he got it done!  He graduated the year he was supposed to. We could not have been prouder.  The program has 2 parts, residential and then post. That part is also 6 months, I think.  He graduated from that too.  We were/are still so proud of him.  We thought he might pursue a career in the military.  He decided not to.  He works, has a good job and lives in his own place with roommates.  Almost no one can afford to live on their own here.  He is a wonderful active member of society. 

All this to say I would like to go back to the second-grade teacher and pull him out of her class.  Fast forward to when Monkey was in second grade, he got assigned that teacher.  We went to the principal's office and I said if he has to be in her class I'm pulling him out of this school.  Today.  Needless to say he did not have her for his teacher.  I think she retired the next year.  She needed to. Anyway, back to Bugs, I should have pulled him out of her class.  I think it set a president for the rest of his education.  He hated school.  BUT, this kid learned. Math is not his favorite, it doesn't come easy to him.  He loves biology/science type classes.  He LOVES to read.  He knows he can go anywhere he wants in a book, in his mind.  

Everyone can learn.  




This was the hardest thing he had ever done.  7 months later he finished what he said he would.  He graduated from Highschool.  On time.  Oh how I love this boy.  

Just because you/yours has a different learning style doesn't mean anything other than it's a different learning style.  Everyone can learn. 


He did it!


Be kind to each other. 

Peace

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