A brothers love

When you are the mom of 6 boys you see all manner of things! All out brawls, the most ridiculous antics. Such as jumping off the deck onto the trampoline. NO it wasn't allowed. But things happen when you aren't looking. Sliding down the stairs in a sled, a box, on a blanket and smacking into the door. Building a luge track on the back stairs in the snow.  It worked well by the way.   My boys all have such varied tastes in things. All like music, but some are snowboarders, skateboarders. One loves all things weapons. He loves the mechanics of them. How they do what they do, the way they work. One loves to travel. He wants to see every corner of the world. He's well on his way. Really a wide array of tastes. One of my biggest prayers for my children is that when I'm gone that they will continue to love and care for each other. Laugh and crack each other up. They are very funny and love to get each other going. Either the funny kind or the picking at you kind. Depends on the day. Several years ago, Drummer was out dirt bike riding. A downed tree had a limb blocking the trail. So guys being what they are, he grabbed the limb and started to pull it to either get it to break off or to move it off the trail. Well the limb snapped back and hit him in the chest. He had a punctured a lung and broken ribs. My DIL called me and said they are taking Drummer to the hospital. I started making the calls. When we started arriving at the hospital, I'm sure the nurses were like WTH! We are a crowd. Eventually everyone but The Littles were there. There is a well-known actor with the same name as our son. I'm not sure who copied who. LOL The nurses on the floor kept coming to peak into the room when they heard "HE" was in their hospital. Yup it's "HIM" just not the HIM you thought it was. The brothers had a HUGE laugh over this. I'm sure Drummer's head grew that day. He stayed in the hospital a few days then went home with extra baggage in/out of his chest. It all came out eventually and he is just fine. I was clicking through the tv channels and found a movie with OUR actor in it. We were watching it. Thats when I started remembering this story. It made me laugh again.

                                            

                                            

The top picture is the top 4.  T2 had come in and put on a mask and gloves and said don't worry I got you Drummer. Of course, we were all laughing. They continued to make Drummer laugh.  It made him grab his chest and said OOHHH saying that hurts, then laughing again.  It was a vicious cycle of brotherly love.  Sometimes love hurts, right??  LOL They don't always get along.  They have different politics and different life goals.  BUT they do want each other to be happy and to have the life they are working for. 

When people meet me, especially when they were younger, and I was surrounded by them, they would say either, OH, I'm glad it's you.  OR were you trying for a girl?  I would always say, OH I think so too!  And NO we weren't trying for a girl, we were very open to whoever God sent to us. I always thought, what a way to invalidate these 5 guys standing right here! (We only had 5 at home at the same time.)  People are strange.  I love my boys. I can't imagine not having each and every one of them.  I also wouldn't trade any of them for a girl.  I have granddaughters now and have got to do all the girly pink things I want to.  I love that my boys love each other. 

Peace

A gift idea

 I know I'm not easy to buy gifts for.  I have very eclectic tastes.  I really do like many different things.  However, I need nothing and have room for nothing.  Sooo, my favorite DIL came up with an idea for Christmas last year.  Somehow, she got the boys to agree with her.  I was so excited AND nervous but really wanted to do it.  I got a gift certificate for a balloon ride!  DH didn't get one, just me.  A sunset flight.   Oh, I couldn't wait.  It's a seasonal thing so I did have to wait but I didn't want to. We had to cancel several times due to weather.  I know people get frustrated with things like that.  I was disappointed but not frustrated.  Trust me I want to land nicely more than anyone else. Take all the time you need to get it right.  I'll wait until it's a good day.  No wind no rain, just beautiful sunset please. So, then this happened!

Stretching out, right out of the bag.

Looking up, inside the balloon.

Me.

Already to go.

                                                               

Up in the air!

She was out!

Our flight buddy.

Us

Sunset starting.

On the ground safely.

Sunset!

I think most people think it's similar to the scene from Wizard of Oz.  That isn't the case at all.  You only really know you are moving if you look down.  It's so very smooth. They send out a weather balloon before you take off.  They have cancelled even after you've shown up if the weather turns.  They give you a good little lesson before you take off.  You do have to climb into the basket, but they can open a door.  But you do stand the whole time.  They do ask how much you weigh when you make the reservation.  They need to know the load and how many people can go in this basket.  Mine held 10.  There was nine of us.   I stood right beside the gas blowing the heat up.  That is the only thing they can control.  When and how high.  There is no right or left.  It's just up or down.  All at the mercy of the wind.  It is so calm up there.  And quiet.  We could hear a dog barking WAY down.  The only real noise was the fire/gas heating up the air, to climb.  I was standing under it and as it chilled down it felt good.  Bob was our pilot and was so kind to answer all the questions and query.  Yes, A LOT from me.  I want to know all the things.  Hopefully I didn't bother Bob a whole lot.  I'm sure I'm not his only chattey Cathy.  It is such a wonderful memory.  I need nothing! I have room for nothing!   It was such a wonderful experience.  I will take that any day of the year.  It was wonderful!  DIL did good! Thank you to my guys for agreeing to the plan.  I will cherish that day for the rest of my life.  If you ever get a chance, Do it!

Peace

All good things must end

In June a day I never thought would happen DID!  19 years ago, we got surprised with an amazing gift! To say we were shocked is a mild understatement.   At 40 I found out I was pregnant.  It had been 6 years since Bugs was born.  We were excited.  But again, we were starting over.  there is an 8 year and then a 6-year gap between our younger guys.  So here we were again.  As time went on, we did get so very excited.  On July 1, 2004, Monkey made his appearance in our bedroom in our home.  It was an amazing experience.  21 years younger than his biggest brother.  

Monkey is a really funny kid.  We have wonderful memories of the things he has said.  He makes us laugh ALL the time.  When he started school, he went one day and said he got it, and he didn't want to go back.  Weeellll baby boy that's not how things work.  So, he had to go back. and he did really well.  He's an avid reader.  Read well above grade level.  Gets math, REALLY gets it and likes it.  He must have gotten that from his dad. He has done advanced math most of his schooling.  He was involved with choir all through high school.  He has a lovely voice.  He did a lot of acapella with the jazz ensemble.  He persevered all through covid and school. Chemistry online?  Choir, online?   What a nightmare.  

At last, this little caboose of ours graduated from High school.  We are so very proud of him.  He did it in a really rough time.  And he did it well.  My husband's 1st son surprised us all when he came for his graduation party. It meant so much to all of us.   My mom came.  We had a lovely party at my cousin's house.  The weather was perfect!  Friends and family came to congratulate our boy.  

What a great bunch of guys!  Love them. 

We got them through school!  Woooowhoooo!  This Fall he started at the local community college. He will graduate with his AA and several important certifications.  He has plans and he's going places.  He is writing his own story.  So proud of him.  

Peace

Always someone or something to miss

 On March 17th my favorite Aunt, my travel buddy my friend passed away.  I could write albums of the things we did and laughed at. She took me to places I didn't know I wanted to go to.  We had so much fun.  

When my Uncle passed away in 2012 my Auntie kind of gave up.  She didn't really want to be here without him.  They apparently had a plan and didn't keep it.  She seemed to rally and found reason's to stay and things to be happy about.  We went on our cruise to Alaska and had an amazing time.  She and I talked (on messenger) almost every day.  I taunted her with hummingbird pictures and she did the same for me with cardinals and blue birds.  She had an amazing yard and the best view out her office window.  We had shows we watched together, she was hours ahead, so she had to keep quiet until it was over here.  Amazing Race and Big Brother.  

My Aunt wasn't healthy.  She hadn't been for a long time.  However, she had a day care in her home for years.  She just lived her life and dealt the best she could.  When the Doctor said she had to go on oxygen she just didn't care anymore.  She just kind of gave up.  I went for a visit one more time.  We went on what I was sure of was our last trip.  We went to Helen Kellers home.  It really was so interesting.  I love history like that.  She was an amazing woman. She changed the world for so many. When it came time for me to come home I knew it would be last time I saw her alive.  It was.  

My heart is so broken.  Losing my Aunt so soon after my dad is just devastating. Not that anytime would have been easier.  It just feels like a huge whammy!   My family is everything to me.  When you lose someone that you care so deeply about it just leaves such a huge hole in your heart.  

I miss my dad's jokes, he and I talked often.  He would call me giggling before he even got the dad punny out.  He had the corniest jokes.  He loved me (well all of us but this is my story) with all of his being.  My aunt and I loved each other.  She was a confidant like I hope everyone has.  She loved me and I loved her.  I miss them both every day.  I still have my dad's number in my phone. I can't delete it yet.  I think of things I want to say and want to call him.  I see a hummingbird and want to send a picture to my aunt to taunt her.  We have them all year, Tennessee doesn't. 

Please cherish your loved ones.  I understand everyone isn't as close to your family as I am.  Still hold those you do love so very close.  Tell them you love them. Show them you love them.  Sometimes you don't get a second chance.  

Rest easy Auntie.  Pain free and with the love of your life.  Together again and forever.

Peace

In which I stumble along..

 I went and spent 4 days with my mom.  Going through things and making her life a little more manageable.  There is still so much paper work and other things  needing  to be done.  I think we are starting to make headway with that.   A couple of big things to do then I think she'll be set for a bit.  On the way home Monkey and I were  singing together. We do this a lot!  He picked a few songs I'd pick a few songs and we just sang our hearts out.  He loves acapella groups and listens to them often. He actually has really good taste in music.  It was very hard leaving my mom.  There really is things to do to lighten her load, and my brothers who both live in the area. If I feel a tad overwhelmed I can only imagine what they feel.  All that to say I had a very verklempt drive home.  I asked Monkey to find a specific song.  He did and I listened to it a few times.  It was a song I have sung in the past.  I just needed to hear it.  

God loves you - Chonda Pierce

Hope, like a flower, will push through the smallest crack in your broken heart
And out of the deep darkest night will shine the brightest burning star
Oh it's there, like a half remembered song
The thing that you've forgotten
But have known all along

God loves you
And He wants you to know
He is with you
You are not alone
He will see you through
God loves you

Tears are just water and salt, but a thimble full can feel oceans wide
But trust that just one gentle breeze can sail you to the other side
Oh it's there, like a whisper on the breeze
The truth that's so familiar
But still hard to believe

God loves you
And He wants you to know
He is with you
You are not alone
He will see you through
God loves you

You don't have to be anywhere near perfect
You don't ever have to prove a thing
You are loved, you are loved
So far beyond your imagining

God loves you
And He wants you to know
He is with you
You are not alone
He will see you through
God loves you

I had a good cry and asked Monkey to find Carrie Underwood's How Great thou art...  after that good cry I was good for the day.   I do not know how people get through this sort of pain without a faith in God.  I think I'd already be out of my mind.   I have to trust that someone bigger then I is in control and has a plan for our lives.   

When peace like a river....  goes through my mind ever time I pass this spot.  It's always beautiful!  On we go.  One step one breath one moment at a time.  Some days are easier then others.  Thanks for bearing with me as I ramble and stumble along.  One thing though, I do know half a milkshake in the middle of your lap feels like.  You can laugh if you'd like.  We did.  After we found a spot to pull over and got some water and a roll of paper towels.  Ice cream melting through your dress down your thighs is a very odd sensation.  

Take care of each other.  Peace

4 Weeks

 It's been 4 weeks since we had to say goodbye to you.  We weren't ready, it came out of nowhere,  it was such a shock.

  My thoughts seem to scramble and ramble a lot lately.  People say it will get better.  I'm sure it will,  with time. At least I hope it does.  I know grief never goes away.  But it does change.  I would like to take a whole breath, I would like to go through one whole day without crying.  It hasn't happened yet.  I'm sure it will at some point.  Things that will never go away in my mind.  My mom laying across my dad saying "it was suppose to be me".  My brother telling  him that he was a good dad as his tears washed down over our dad's still face. All of us at one point or another asking him to please don't go, then later saying it's ok to go.   All but one of his grandson's taking turns carrying their grandpa.  It was such a beautiful day.  So many people came, even on short notice.  I was trying to write something for the pastor to read. The words were so inadequate, there isn't enough words to say what's in my heart.  I keep thinking of the funny stories you told, the dad joke's you'd call to tell me.  The twinkle in your eyes just before you started to laugh.  When I came home it was because I needed a minute of "normal".  Then I got so angry at everyone for just going on with their lives.  How could they not know?  My/Our lives have forever changed!  How dare everyone just keep on doing what they've always done.   Isn't it weird how life just keeps marching on, even though we are forever changed.  

Things you taught us,

Love the Lord with all your heart! Love your family first. If the job is worth doing, do it right.  Be on time.  If you say you will, Do!  Be honest.  Have integrity.  A good work ethic is so important.  Laugh as often as possible.  Don't squat with your spurs on.  

Oh the list goes on and on.  Same as with the punny dad jokes.  He really made everyone laugh.  His stories were really the best.  The best ones were the true ones.  He lived a great life.  Not always easy, but a great life.  He had a great sense of humor.  I already miss your voice. Your laugh.   The hugs as we said good bye, see you soon.  I could write pages of the things I remember and don't want to forget.  Most of those are for me.  I'll keep them in my heart.  I love you dad. 

Remember NO one is promised tomorrow.  That morning no one knew our lives would forever be changed, that we would have a hole in our hearts that no one can ever fill.  

Peace

This is me

 Kindness goes a LONG ways.  It doesn't even have to be much.  A genuine Thank you, a have a good day!  I hope your weekend goes well.  Those kinds of word/things.  However they must be said with sincerity.  I have found that the more you put that into practice the easier it becomes. Sometimes it's just a real smile.  Because of masks I always hope they see it in my eyes.  It becomes an honest caring about other people, even strangers.    I'm not as outgoing, able to talk to strangers as some people I know.  But I can say a kind word and a smile.  It also has a way of coming back to you, especially when you need it.  

It reminds me of the saying, which has really stuck with me..

"People may not remember exactly what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel".   

That one sticks in my heart, a lot!  I know I haven't always responded with quiet calm words when I've been hurt.  I know I have hurt other's with my words.  For that I am truly sorry.  The heat of the moment isn't always pretty.  Hopefully those moments go to the back of their memories.  I know I've tried to leave the door open.  Grace applies to all.  Sometimes that is a hard one to remember.  

A bit of a ramble but the thoughts keep running through my mind.  

Be kind to one another.  Be safe.   Peace.